Men In Black 3

It has been 15 years since J was recruited by K to join the Men In Black and a decade since the last time we heard from these agents.  Time has not been kind to this franchise, which really should have just stopped after the first movie.  But after such a successful original story, and huge star power from Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones you can't blame the producers for trying to recapture the magic from the original.  That is what Men In Black 3 feels like, an attempt to recapture the magic of the original instead of attempting to coming up with an original story.

Anytime a movie attempts time travel or goes to a tropical island viewers enter at their own risk, especially when the movie is a sequel.  Here J, must go back in time and save his partner from getting killed and put history back in its proper place.  So in this movie all of the fish out of water jokes from the first one are in relation to going back in time rather than learning about alien life on earth.  I can not think of a time traveling sequel that has ever been rewarding, so this movie is already up against a wall. 

The movie's humor relies on everything being dated.  That means that all the technology the agents use in the sixties are antiquated and bulky and therefore must be funny.  There are moment where it looks like there could be some genuine moments of levity, and they even touch briefly on the race issues of the sixties but are too quick to move on to a new device before any joke has the chance to settle in.  You can tell that the writing team for this movie had too many cooks in the kitchen and Etan Cohen tried pulling the best of the best instead of making every moment flow into the next one.

The bulk of the movie rests on Will Smith's back, because while K is a big piece of the puzzle, the role is shared by two different actors.  Smith seems like he is phoning this one in and is merely getting a paycheck to help his children do more projects.  Meanwhile Tommy Lee Jones literally disappears for half the movie, which may be due to the aging actor not being able to handle an action blockbuster like this anymore.  In his place is one of the few bright spots of the movie in Josh Brolin.  Brolin plays a dead ringer as a younger Tommy Lee Jones, with the good ole boy drawl and dry delivery down pat. Even if the younger actor is supposed to be in his late twenties and not his early forties the casting still works.

While Brolin was a nice surprise, what I was looking forward to most was Jermaine Clement as Boris the Animal.  I don't know what I was expecting out of him but I didn't get it.  Vincent D'Onofrio just did so spectacularly in the first one that I think they tried to replicate it.  Maybe I just wanted him to be a little goofier and I don't know bust out into song with Bret (Hi Bret), but that would be too much to ask for, I guess.  It seemed like they missed an opportunity with a brief appearance by Nicole Scherzinger or maybe I just wanted to see more of her leather dominatrix costume.  The most important part though may be Michael Stuhlbarg who provides some nice support as the last of his species who can see all the different possible futures which adds a little bit to the time traveling plot line.

Everyone keeps referencing a major past event in K's life, a moment which would turn out to be the climax of the movie.  With all that build up there was an expectation for a bigger moment.  That is this movie in a nut shell - bigger expectations.  And expectations weren't even that high for this movie, after all it was the third movie 15 years removed from the original that featured time traveling.  If you do go and see this movie, it may be a better idea to bring a neuralizer along and replace the two hours with a more pleasant memory like the one below.  D+

The Karate Kid

There is no hiding my undying love for the original Karate Kid. Not because it was exceptionally good, but rather because it was kind of trashy. The hairdos were incredibly eighties. All of the actors that weren't named Pat Moritia overacted the crap out of the movie. And then there were the bad guys I love to hate, with gems like "sweep the leg" and "get him in a body bag Johnny." I tend to honor these cheesy villains by naming my trivia team the Kobra Kai Dojo and rocking out to the song i provided above (check out the link if you have a second). This movie had a lot to live up to.

The movie doesn't shift too far away from the original. All the major beats remain the same it is just the environment that changes. Jaden Smith stars as Dre, the young pupil from Detroit who has moved to Beijing, China with his mother played by Taraji Henson (much better than her 1984 counterpart). I suppose the east-coast west-coast culture shock was no longer enough so there is instead a shift is socieo-economic area (I imagine the sweet tax-cuts helped too). Smith has clearly inherited the best traits from his parents and blends the aggressive nature of his mother with the fun and charming style of his father. I usually hate children actors as they always seem like they are trying to be kids. Smith is asked to carry the film and he makes it appear effortless.

This interperation of the film is much grittier than the original movie. It is much easier to believe the fear of a 12 year old facing bullies than it was for a 22 year old (I had to double check that fact and verify that Macchio was indeed 22 when filming started, holy shit the kid doesn't age!).

Also gone is the actual karate. Instead the movie uses wushu kung fu which provides visually h harder hits. The styles big hits translates better on the big screen as audible 'ooohs' and 'aahhs' were shared aloud as the audience saw the young children take some big shots. Its sometimes tough to watch the kids take such big hits, but in the same breath it helps the audience understand the dangers our protagonist faces. This may be wushu but you can't call the movie kung fu kid or you risk losing out on potential revenue from the gen-x audience who are more than willing to share this story with their kids.

To protect young Jaden from his bullies is Jackie Chan playing the Mr. Miyagi character renamed Mr. Han. In so many of his previous roles Chan provides a film with a mixture of levity and fight sequences; surprisingly, he plays this version of the character straight. So much of what made Mr. Miyagi a memorable character and earned Pat Morita the Oscar nomination was the quirkiness he added to the character. Morita had a distinct sense of humor but delivered all of his lines straight laced, Chan's character doesn't show nearly as much humor which is how the character was originally intended. There is nothing wrong with the portayal, in fact it is some of the better acting Chan has done in his career. This rendering provides the same strong bond between sensei and student, it just gets there in a different way.